Friday, March 27, 2015

you are enough, My Beloved

I awoke this morning feeling anxious because my mind always thinks that there is too much to do.

It tells me to hurry and run to the next thing. It keeps me feeling stressed and others feel it, too....especially my children.

During my quiet time, I went to Jesus and asked if there is something else that I need to see regarding this? Is there some way to resolve this anxious feeling?
Don't be anxious. Just turn to Me.

I can't hold it all together, Lord. I keep trying and I just can't. I see other people holding things together just beautifully, but I always seem to be running 3 steps behind or spinning in a circle. Why Lord?? (no answer heard)

Jesus, what do I do with this world that tells me to run faster and do more?
You run your own race. The course is set by Me.You have to let go of this anxiety, Pam. It will kill you.

Is the answer in simplifying? That seems to be a myth to me. Please help me see the truth, Jesus.
It's Me. I am the Truth and the only way to journey successfully through this world. 
     
Then I heard the Most Beautiful Words:
You are enough, Pam...just as you are. You are beautifully, wonderfully made. I created you with love.

I felt God's love and peace fill me. He kept telling me "You are enough." Finally I was able to say it to myself. "I am enough."

Oh Thank You, Sweet Lord!

I guess this means when I run this crazy "I can't do it all" game, it's really me thinking, "I am not enough." But that's not what Jesus says.

I sat a little longer, thinking about all this. I found myself applying the "enough" to more things:

I am enough.
The kids are enough.
We are doing enough.
The house is clean enough. (haha!)
We are studying and doing enough with school.
I am working on taxes and bookwork enough.
I am cooking enough, shopping enough, doing enough.
My husband is doing enough--he is not behind with his work either.
Everything will work out.
God and His Grace are enough to see us through all our struggles.
I have enough energy and mental strength to do all that needs to be done today.
I am loving enough.
I am living enough.
We are organized enough.
I have plenty of time today--enough!
I am enough!

THANK YOU, LORD JESUS!!


I feel God nudging me to share this today.

Someone else must need to hear this. These words are for you:

You are enough.
You are loved.
You are precious and dear.
Jesus loves You.
You are His Beloved Child.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Just Fake It



Been wondering where I've been?
Me too.
My life spun out of control for the past year.
My Dad died in March 2014. I was already on rocky ground emotionally before he died.
His death was sort of a nail in my coffin, too.
Emotional healing is hard. Really hard. And it takes a lot of time. At least it has for me.
I've learned a lot in the past year.
I've learned that I don't want to go backwards, and yet sometimes I still do.
I've learned that I have to go back and face the pain, walk through it, to find freedom and healing on the other side.
I've learned that depression and anxiety prefer to play a sick game together.
I've learned that a full night of sleep is a most beautiful thing.

I've recently realized that I've forgotten how to dream and have goals for my life.
Today I decided that even though I feel empty and without dreams, I will create some made up dreams.
Sort of a 'fake it till you make it' plan.
I'm going to keep reading through my made up dreams until I start feeling again...until my dreams become real and important to me again.

One of my dreams is to help others whose emotional life is spinning out of control.
I don't really know how I will do that.
But I know that I can't help anyone in my silence.
....and so I will share.
The up's
The down's
and the building of a life in between.

May God bless your soul richly today.
pam
 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Anxiety, Part 1

Living with Anxiety is awful.

I've found myself in Anxiety's powerful, life-draining grip for the last few months.  It started with some life struggles and was compounded by the death of my Dad.  Panic and constant anxiety ensued.

I've tried to put all this into a nice, tidy story for you--but frankly, this episode of my life won't submit to a handful of painful, witty paragraphs.

This morning I see that this should be shared in little pieces.  I will share as part of my healing with hopes that it will facilitate any needed healing in your heart, too.

Here is a really good video by Brene Brown about shame and sharing our stories in order to heal.






May God bless you with insight and healing today,

pam


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6


Tuesday, May 13, 2014

How NOT to Have a Perfect Garden!

Check out my potato row!
Now there's some imperfection for you...
Looks like I need to lay off the wine coolers
before I head out to the garden!!

Yes, you read that right.

I don't want you to have a perfect garden!  Perfect gardens never happen...at least not in my world.  


Check out this beautiful spud!  He's from some left-over potatoes
that I got from Azure Standard.  Since they are organic, they
started sprouting before we could finish eating them.

It's important that you get over the perfect garden plan. Avoid it!  Set yourself free.  Enjoy your imperfect garden. Have peace and joy in the imperfections.  They are beautiful.  

I'm telling you this because I dream in "perfect".  I research and try to figure out all the perfect answers for every question before it even gets asked.  Sometimes I find multiple answers to each question which really throws me off my perfect rails.  The needed decisions keep piling up and I get completely bogged down in it all.  





Mr. Crazy Spud!


I'm telling you...Don't go there!  Trying to figure out all the right answers and create a perfect garden is really code for "I'm not going to have a garden at all."

That would be sad.

Buy a few plants or seeds and stick them in the ground.  Do your best to help them along, but trust that your plants do not require a "perfect" world.  Their job is to grow and they will do their very best to accomplish that end.  Let them!

There is much to wonder about in the garden.  Turns out, playing in the dirt is good for our soul.

may your day and your garden be blessed,

pam

Monday, May 12, 2014

An Ode to Bread



I don't want to be gluten free!!!


I used to be a pusher!  I was a whole-wheat bread pushin' Mama.
I gave piping hot loaves of delicious bread to hundreds of people.
I equated homemade bread with love.

My family enjoyed and expected a warm loaf of bread with nearly every meal.
My children became bread snobs who scoffed at 2-day old, cold bread!

Then one day, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

I read a book that challenged me to wonder if eating wheat was contributing to/causing some of the odd health issues that I had.

Wheat Belly (affiliate link) challenged me to stop eating wheat for a while to see if I felt better.

Within 3 days, I had the answer.
My brain fog lifted.  I had energy and could think clearly all day. I stopped needing naps and large amounts of caffeine just to get through the day.

I've been off wheat for a year now.
I'll admit that giving up all those yummy bread-foods has left a little hole in my life.

I would love to wolf down a loaf of homemade bread (or pancakes, crackers, cinnamon rolls, bagels....) right now!  Unfortunately, this just isn't possible.  I've tested the waters.

When I eat wheat/gluten, I experience profound brain fog within an hour (usually much sooner).

What does this brain fog look like for me?
I can't keep my eyes open or focus on people that are talking to me.  (rude, huh?!)
I fight and struggle, but simply can't stay awake.  My body insists that I sleep.

Before giving up the wheat, I stayed at a low-mid level of brain fog all afternoon.

I am so thankful to have clear thinking again, but truly I don't want to walk the gluten-free path!  I'm lazy.  I prefer to fit in and eat what everyone else is eating.  I don't want to be an oddball that requires special foods.

Bottom Line:  I MISS MY BREAD!!!

I'll be sharing more about my gluten-free journey on facebook.  Join me there!  


Have you experienced brain fog or other symptoms of gluten sensitivity?


many blessings to you,

pam

linked to Homestead Barn Hop!

Friday, April 4, 2014

I'm Back AND Win Some Essential Oils!!

FPKgiveaway



Hi Friends!  Sorry I've been away for a while.  There's been a whole lot of life going on in my world.  We can chat about that later.  For now, the important thing to know is that I'm part of a big essential oil give-away!!  I love using essential oils for all sorts of health and wellness issues around my here.  I'm hoping YOU will win a set of these oils for your very own!



Win a Family Physician Kit ($166 value)

fpk
The Family Physician Kit is one of the most popular doTERRA essential oil kits available. It's a wonderful place to start if you are new to the idea of essential oils. It includes 5 mL bottles of:
  • Lavender
  • Lemon
  • Peppermint
  • Melaleuca
  • Oregano
  • Frankincense
  • Deep Blue® (soothing blend)
  • Breathe (respiratory support blend)
  • DigestZen (digestive support blend)
  • On Guard® (protective blend)


How to Enter for Your Chance to Win:

1. Click here to sign up for email updates from my blog (If you are already a subscriber, continue to step 2…)

2. Use
the Rafflecopter widget at the bottom of this post to confirm these entries and unlock even more entries to increase your chances of winning! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway ends April 18th, 2014 at midnight. Winner will be announced here within 72 hours.

(I know there are a lot of entry options--but keep in mind that you do NOT have to complete all of them--just the ones you want!)


A huge THANK YOU to Mr. Al Garcia, our generous upline, who donated the prizes for this giveaway!


Disclaimer:  Yes, I'm a Wellness Advocate with DoTerra!  I am not a doctor.  I'm not trying to diagnose or treat any illnesses.  I enjoy teaching about the oils and seeing others empowered with natural health solutions. I do earn money when others purchase DoTerra products through me.  

Friday, January 31, 2014

Twin Quilts!



Quilt One

Quilting on Quilt One



This is a first for me--quilts for twins!  I finished them last week and got them shipped yesterday.  Yippee!!


Quilt Two

Quilting on Quilt Two

I'm sure you've figured out that these are scrappy creations.  Sometimes when I want to sew without thinking, I pull out my 2 1/2" squares and make 9 patch blocks.  I have several extremely exacting methods for making these (tongue in cheek, of course!): 

1.  Put together really strange color / fabric combos.
2.  Sew together fabrics that I have enough squares to make a block out of.
3.  Blindly sew the fabrics on the top of the pile.


The recipient twins are a year old and I want them to be able to easily identify their own quilt, so I gave the quilts very different bindings.




Hooray for finishes!!  Lots of Gold Stars today.  :)

Praising God Today!
pam



Linked to Whoop Whoop Friday!  and Crazy Mom Quilts.