grief and God

We have had 2 major losses already this year. One in our extended family. The other was my husband's best friend. Each morning I find myself sitting in the grief and pain of these losses. I'm noticing that current grief has a way of pulling old losses to the surface again, too. As if the current grief isn't enough...old grief wants to join in the party! Ugh! It seems the only way through it is to go through it....I've side-stepped and avoided pain for most of my life. That method worked for a while, but certainly isn't a good long-term solution.

I do a lot of journaling to process what comes up for me each day. I also seek God's input when I journal. Sometimes I hear a little from Him and sometimes there is a lot. I feel very vulnerable, but I want to try sharing some of this with you.

From today:
Lord, please speak Your Truth to me. Help me to have clarity, grace, and love in this day. Help me to hear You, Lord. Please let there be healing in our hearts, minds, and bodies today.

It's okay Sweet Child.
It's okay to cry and feel this sadness.
It's okay to be a child and not be responsible for everything.
It's okay to just be today--to just be and look for fun things to do.

Your childhood was never like that.
You can claim moments of that now.
You can be free in Me.

I love you, Sweet Child.
I love you when you are up and when you struggle and feel down.
I always love you.
It is safe to go through whatever you are feeling.

It's okay to have fun.
You aren't going to go off the rails and stop taking care of your family.
You might feel more light-hearted while you care for them though.
You are relearning your childhood--seeking some childish ways.
This is good.

Embrace yourself.Love yourself.
Be good to yourself today.

All is well in the Universe.
You can take off your cape-- stop feeling responsible for everything and just be you.
I love you, Child.
Take today as it comes and practice doing the fun things.


May your day be blessed,
pam