Been wondering where I've been?
Me too.
My life spun out of control for the past year.
My Dad died in March 2014. I was already on rocky ground emotionally before he died.
His death was sort of a nail in my coffin, too.
Emotional healing is hard. Really hard. And it takes a lot of time. At least it has for me.
I've learned a lot in the past year.
I've learned that I don't want to go backwards, and yet sometimes I still do.
I've learned that I have to go back and face the pain, walk through it, to find freedom and healing on the other side.
I've learned that depression and anxiety prefer to play a sick game together.
I've learned that a full night of sleep is a most beautiful thing.
I've recently realized that I've forgotten how to dream and have goals for my life.
Today I decided that even though I feel empty and without dreams, I will create some made up dreams.
Sort of a 'fake it till you make it' plan.
I'm going to keep reading through my made up dreams until I start feeling again...until my dreams become real and important to me again.
One of my dreams is to help others whose emotional life is spinning out of control.
I don't really know how I will do that.
But I know that I can't help anyone in my silence.
....and so I will share.
The up's
The down's
and the building of a life in between.
May God bless your soul richly today.
pam
What a time you've had...and what courage you've shown in admitting how low you feel. Your dream of helping others who need emotional healing, is a good step along the way...the answer to the 'how' will come along. ( when I went through a difficult time in the early 2000s, I realised that I had stopped having dreams and aspiration too...it shocked me!) Hugs and blessing!
ReplyDeleteI have gone thru the same thing. Don't rush the healing but remember to take care of yourself first.
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