Friday, March 20, 2015

Just Fake It

Been wondering where I've been?
Me too.
My life spun out of control for the past year.
My Dad died in March 2014. I was already on rocky ground emotionally before he died.
His death was sort of a nail in my coffin, too.
Emotional healing is hard. Really hard. And it takes a lot of time. At least it has for me.
I've learned a lot in the past year.
I've learned that I don't want to go backwards, and yet sometimes I still do.
I've learned that I have to go back and face the pain, walk through it, to find freedom and healing on the other side.
I've learned that depression and anxiety prefer to play a sick game together.
I've learned that a full night of sleep is a most beautiful thing.

I've recently realized that I've forgotten how to dream and have goals for my life.
Today I decided that even though I feel empty and without dreams, I will create some made up dreams.
Sort of a 'fake it till you make it' plan.
I'm going to keep reading through my made up dreams until I start feeling again...until my dreams become real and important to me again.

One of my dreams is to help others whose emotional life is spinning out of control.
I don't really know how I will do that.
But I know that I can't help anyone in my silence.
....and so I will share.
The up's
The down's
and the building of a life in between.

May God bless your soul richly today.


  1. What a time you've had...and what courage you've shown in admitting how low you feel. Your dream of helping others who need emotional healing, is a good step along the way...the answer to the 'how' will come along. ( when I went through a difficult time in the early 2000s, I realised that I had stopped having dreams and aspiration shocked me!) Hugs and blessing!

  2. I have gone thru the same thing. Don't rush the healing but remember to take care of yourself first.