Where's Pam?

Guess what, Friends?!! I have a new blog / website.

Please join me over at pamstahl.com!!

Take care,
pam

What is Enough for Christmas?

I woke up feeling a little sad and very inadequate.
When I peeled back the feeling of inadequacy, I found it was related to Christmas.
I think I got off to a good start with my holiday preparations, but then I got a little side-tracked with some other life issues that demanded my full attention and energy.
Yesterday, my oldest child announced that it was 12 days until Christmas.
Oh No. I’m not ready and I don’t really know what “ready” means.

This is a bit of a recurrent theme for me. This feeling of inadequacy, not measuring up, not doing enough, and not even knowing what I’m supposed to be doing can rise up with regard to most anything! Geez! Enough already!! I mean, come on….Who gets worried over Valentine’s Day? Easter? Back to School events? Big Days? Little Days? Spring Break? Fall Break? Please don’t make me go on!

I think there are a few different things involved in this anxiety. I really don’t have a good compass on these matters from childhood. I am sort of just winging it, making it up as I go–which isn’t altogether bad, but it does lend itself to a fear of totally missing the boat and not doing something that’s really important and meaningful for my kids.

I also think the media likes to feed into this anxiety. If I am kept in this anxious frenzy, I may just keep buying more trying to fill this emotional hole. Do you see how this hamster wheel will just keep spinning? Ugh! I can’t buy my way out of this!! No one can. At some point we have to find our own place of peace and rest in it.

The comparison game can have positive and negative effects on me. I have to actively seek the positive (isn’t that always the case!) I can hang out on facebook or my social media of choice and see the happiest, most joyful, perfectly dressed holiday moments and feel like a complete dud that will never measure up! OR….I can call a friend, a soul-mate-kind-of-friend, and find that they might be struggling a bit too, that the dog ate their decorations and they spent a big chunk of their Christmas budget on the trip to the vet!

I also need to remember that some of us are great at decorating, some love making dessert treats, some make delightful little gifts by hand, some have everything ready by December 1….you know these people!! It’s okay if none of these are your special gift. Personally, I’m not tops at any of those. And most days I can’t even remember what my gift is!

Maybe my gift is doing my best to show up and be present for those I love every day in my own perfectly imperfect way. (and write run on sentences!)

Today’s feelings of inadequacy have led to some positive action on my part.
I am asking each of my children and my husband what is important for them in our Christmas celebration?
Turns out the answers are sweet and fairly simple.
I also need to answer the question myself.

May your day be incredibly blessed with clarity and peace in this holiday season.

Remember….You are enough.

love,
pam

Hands 2 Help 2017

2017 Hands 2 Help Donation Quilt

My Hands 2 Help quilt is not quite done, but it's really close. I'm posting a picture now to link up with Sarah's blog.

I started this quilt many moons ago, but who's counting!

(I actually started a different quilt using the Charming Stars pattern that Sarah featured early on with H2H. Let's just say that I got a little too attached to it! I'll try to show it to you soon. It's still just a top, but it really speaks to me and since I've never really made a quilt for myself....we'll see if I can really do that or not!)

The string blocks in the quilt pictured above were made using a method that I learned from Gwen Marston. Basically, you sew panels of strips together, apply spray starch to keep it from stretching as you cut along the bias, and then cut your shapes from the fabric panels. It's fun and fairly mindless.

back of the H2H quilt

I bought a Juki sewing machine last year, so I was experimenting with it on the quilting. You can't really see the quilting pattern from the front of the quilt, but I know it's there. :)
As soon as I add a few more rows of quilting and the binding, this quilt is heading to Refugee Charity in St. Louis. I hope it makes someone's transition a little easier. 

And here is my favorite picture...My daughter and her friends!

Thank you, Sarah, for encouraging all of us and organizing our efforts (herding cats!)

pam

grief and God

We have had 2 major losses already this year. One in our extended family. The other was my husband's best friend. Each morning I find myself sitting in the grief and pain of these losses. I'm noticing that current grief has a way of pulling old losses to the surface again, too. As if the current grief isn't enough...old grief wants to join in the party! Ugh! It seems the only way through it is to go through it....I've side-stepped and avoided pain for most of my life. That method worked for a while, but certainly isn't a good long-term solution.

I do a lot of journaling to process what comes up for me each day. I also seek God's input when I journal. Sometimes I hear a little from Him and sometimes there is a lot. I feel very vulnerable, but I want to try sharing some of this with you.

From today:
Lord, please speak Your Truth to me. Help me to have clarity, grace, and love in this day. Help me to hear You, Lord. Please let there be healing in our hearts, minds, and bodies today.

It's okay Sweet Child.
It's okay to cry and feel this sadness.
It's okay to be a child and not be responsible for everything.
It's okay to just be today--to just be and look for fun things to do.

Your childhood was never like that.
You can claim moments of that now.
You can be free in Me.

I love you, Sweet Child.
I love you when you are up and when you struggle and feel down.
I always love you.
It is safe to go through whatever you are feeling.

It's okay to have fun.
You aren't going to go off the rails and stop taking care of your family.
You might feel more light-hearted while you care for them though.
You are relearning your childhood--seeking some childish ways.
This is good.

Embrace yourself.Love yourself.
Be good to yourself today.

All is well in the Universe.
You can take off your cape-- stop feeling responsible for everything and just be you.
I love you, Child.
Take today as it comes and practice doing the fun things.


May your day be blessed,
pam

you are enough, My Beloved

I awoke this morning feeling anxious because my mind always thinks that there is too much to do.

It tells me to hurry and run to the next thing. It keeps me feeling stressed and others feel it, too....especially my children.

During my quiet time, I went to Jesus and asked if there is something else that I need to see regarding this? Is there some way to resolve this anxious feeling?
Don't be anxious. Just turn to Me.

I can't hold it all together, Lord. I keep trying and I just can't. I see other people holding things together just beautifully, but I always seem to be running 3 steps behind or spinning in a circle. Why Lord?? (no answer heard)

Jesus, what do I do with this world that tells me to run faster and do more?
You run your own race. The course is set by Me.You have to let go of this anxiety, Pam. It will kill you.

Is the answer in simplifying? That seems to be a myth to me. Please help me see the truth, Jesus.
It's Me. I am the Truth and the only way to journey successfully through this world. 
     
Then I heard the Most Beautiful Words:
You are enough, Pam...just as you are. You are beautifully, wonderfully made. I created you with love.

I felt God's love and peace fill me. He kept telling me "You are enough." Finally I was able to say it to myself. "I am enough."

Oh Thank You, Sweet Lord!

I guess this means when I run this crazy "I can't do it all" game, it's really me thinking, "I am not enough." But that's not what Jesus says.

I sat a little longer, thinking about all this. I found myself applying the "enough" to more things:

I am enough.
The kids are enough.
We are doing enough.
The house is clean enough. (haha!)
We are studying and doing enough with school.
I am working on taxes and bookwork enough.
I am cooking enough, shopping enough, doing enough.
My husband is doing enough--he is not behind with his work either.
Everything will work out.
God and His Grace are enough to see us through all our struggles.
I have enough energy and mental strength to do all that needs to be done today.
I am loving enough.
I am living enough.
We are organized enough.
I have plenty of time today--enough!
I am enough!

THANK YOU, LORD JESUS!!


I feel God nudging me to share this today.

Someone else must need to hear this. These words are for you:

You are enough.
You are loved.
You are precious and dear.
Jesus loves You.
You are His Beloved Child.

Just Fake It

Been wondering where I've been?
Me too.
My life spun out of control for the past year.
My Dad died in March 2014. I was already on rocky ground emotionally before he died.
His death was sort of a nail in my coffin, too.
Emotional healing is hard. Really hard. And it takes a lot of time. At least it has for me.
I've learned a lot in the past year.
I've learned that I don't want to go backwards, and yet sometimes I still do.
I've learned that I have to go back and face the pain, walk through it, to find freedom and healing on the other side.
I've learned that depression and anxiety prefer to play a sick game together.
I've learned that a full night of sleep is a most beautiful thing.

I've recently realized that I've forgotten how to dream and have goals for my life.
Today I decided that even though I feel empty and without dreams, I will create some made up dreams.
Sort of a 'fake it till you make it' plan.
I'm going to keep reading through my made up dreams until I start feeling again...until my dreams become real and important to me again.

One of my dreams is to help others whose emotional life is spinning out of control.
I don't really know how I will do that.
But I know that I can't help anyone in my silence.
....and so I will share.
The up's
The down's
and the building of a life in between.

May God bless your soul richly today.
pam
 

Anxiety, Part 1

Living with Anxiety is awful.

I've found myself in Anxiety's powerful, life-draining grip for the last few months.  It started with some life struggles and was compounded by the death of my Dad.  Panic and constant anxiety ensued.

I've tried to put all this into a nice, tidy story for you--but frankly, this episode of my life won't submit to a handful of painful, witty paragraphs.

This morning I see that this should be shared in little pieces.  I will share as part of my healing with hopes that it will facilitate any needed healing in your heart, too.

Here is a really good video by Brene Brown about shame and sharing our stories in order to heal.

May God bless you with insight and healing today,
pam


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

How NOT to Have a Perfect Garden!

Check out my potato row!
Now there's some imperfection for you...
Looks like I need to lay off the wine coolers
before I head out to the garden!!

Yes, you read that right.

I don't want you to have a perfect garden!  Perfect gardens never happen...at least not in my world.  

Check out this beautiful spud!  He's from some left-over potatoes
that I got from Azure Standard.  Since they are organic, they
started sprouting before we could finish eating them.

It's important that you get over the perfect garden plan. Avoid it!  Set yourself free.  Enjoy your imperfect garden. Have peace and joy in the imperfections.  They are beautiful.  

I'm telling you this because I dream in "perfect".  I research and try to figure out all the perfect answers for every question before it even gets asked.  Sometimes I find multiple answers to each question which really throws me off my perfect rails.  The needed decisions keep piling up and I get completely bogged down in it all.  

Mr. Crazy Spud!

I'm telling you...Don't go there!  Trying to figure out all the right answers and create a perfect garden is really code for "I'm not going to have a garden at all."

That would be sad.

Buy a few plants or seeds and stick them in the ground.  Do your best to help them along, but trust that your plants do not require a "perfect" world.  Their job is to grow and they will do their very best to accomplish that end.  Let them!

There is much to wonder about in the garden.  Turns out, playing in the dirt is good for our soul.

may your day and your garden be blessed,
pam

An Ode to Bread

I don't want to be gluten free!!!

I used to be a pusher!  I was a whole-wheat bread pushin' Mama.
I gave piping hot loaves of delicious bread to hundreds of people.
I equated homemade bread with love.

My family enjoyed and expected a warm loaf of bread with nearly every meal.
My children became bread snobs who scoffed at 2-day old, cold bread!

Then one day, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

I read a book that challenged me to wonder if eating wheat was contributing to/causing some of the odd health issues that I had.

Wheat Belly (affiliate link) challenged me to stop eating wheat for a while to see if I felt better.

Within 3 days, I had the answer.
My brain fog lifted.  I had energy and could think clearly all day. I stopped needing naps and large amounts of caffeine just to get through the day.

I've been off wheat for a year now.
I'll admit that giving up all those yummy bread-foods has left a little hole in my life.

I would love to wolf down a loaf of homemade bread (or pancakes, crackers, cinnamon rolls, bagels....) right now!  Unfortunately, this just isn't possible.  I've tested the waters.

When I eat wheat/gluten, I experience profound brain fog within an hour (usually much sooner).

What does this brain fog look like for me?
I can't keep my eyes open or focus on people that are talking to me.  (rude, huh?!)
I fight and struggle, but simply can't stay awake.  My body insists that I sleep.

Before giving up the wheat, I stayed at a low-mid level of brain fog all afternoon.

I am so thankful to have clear thinking again, but truly I don't want to walk the gluten-free path!  I'm lazy.  I prefer to fit in and eat what everyone else is eating.  I don't want to be an oddball that requires special foods.

Bottom Line:  I MISS MY BREAD!!!

I'll be sharing more about my gluten-free journey on facebook.  Join me there!  


Have you experienced brain fog or other symptoms of gluten sensitivity?


many blessings to you,
pam

linked to Homestead Barn Hop!

Twin Quilts!

Quilt One

Quilting on Quilt One

This is a first for me--quilts for twins!  I finished them last week and got them shipped yesterday.  Yippee!!

Quilt Two

Quilting on Quilt Two

I'm sure you've figured out that these are scrappy creations.  Sometimes when I want to sew without thinking, I pull out my 2 1/2" squares and make 9 patch blocks.  I have several extremely exacting methods for making these (tongue in cheek, of course!): 

1.  Put together really strange color / fabric combos.
2.  Sew together fabrics that I have enough squares to make a block out of.
3.  Blindly sew the fabrics on the top of the pile.


The recipient twins are a year old and I want them to be able to easily identify their own quilt, so I gave the quilts very different bindings.

Hooray for finishes!!  Lots of Gold Stars today.  :)

Praising God Today!
pam

Linked to Whoop Whoop Friday!  and Crazy Mom Quilts.

Bottle Calf 101

I am friends with Jill at Prairie Homestead.  She asked me to be a guest blogger for her (hooray!), so I compiled this story from blog postings over the last year as we raised a bottle calf. 

If you've been following along for a while, you might want to just skip to the end for our TOP 5 TIPS for RAISING a BOTTLE CALF.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Have you heard the saying, "Be careful what you wish for?"
I should edit that to, "Be careful what you mention to a farmer!"

Early in December (2012) I mentioned to a new farmer friend that we might want to raise a bottle calf this year for beef.  Of course I was speaking way ahead of being ready for said bottle calf and truly had no thought of this happening until MUCH later in 2013.

So guess who calls on December 31?!

This farmer had a cow that had delivered twins and was rejecting the female calf.  He was taking care of the calf that night but REALLY wanted someone else to take her the next day.  He reminded me that she would be sterile due to twin pregnancy with male/female combo.  A little research tells me that the female from this set of twins is sterile 92% of the time.  In other words, she is destined to be a beef cow.

I battled the pro's and con's all night.  I tend to work out dilemmas while I sleep.  When I got up I was certain the correct answer was "no" since we simply weren't ready, not to mention It's WINTER!

Then I went outside for chores.  The sun was bright and glorious.  I could sense God's hope and blessing.

When next I talked with the farmer, I said "yes".  He didn't waste any time bringing her and a bottle over to me.  She wasn't as vigorous as I had hoped when she arrived, but she was ok.  She had just been fed, so we snuggled her into a stall to rest for about an hour.

When I went to feed her, she was chilled and very weak.  She couldn't stand up or drink from the bottle. 

All my medical background and Mommy instincts kicked in. 

I picked her up and took her directly into the house.  We set up our ICU in the laundry room (which just happens to be my sewing nook, too!)  We warmed up hot packs and bundled her in blankets.  I started dripping warm colostrum (saved in the freezer from when our Jersey delivered in September) down her throat with a turkey baster (thanks Dorothy).  She couldn't even struggle.  Sometimes her eyes would roll back and I was sure she was dying.  She had no muscle tone. 

I called my Mom and asked for prayer.  I knew it would be a miracle from God if she survived the night.

This process all started around 4pm.  At 9pm she pulled her legs up under her.  Minutes later she stood up....wobbly, but up.  We put a dog crate in the laundry room and tucked her in with blankets. 

First days spent in the laundry room!

The next morning she was alive!  She even gave a little moo when I went in to feed her.  She took milk from my trusty turkey baster, but couldn't suck from a bottle.

Around 3pm on January 2, she took the last bit of her first quart of colostrum.  It had taken nearly 24 hours to get just one quart in her.  I knew she would get dehydrated if we didn't pick up the pace a bit.  Then another miracle occurred!  She latched onto the nipple of my calf bottle and started sucking.  Next thing I knew, she had drained her 2nd quart of colostrum!!  Praise God!  I broke out in songs of praise.  What a victory! 

"You want me to do WHAT?!"

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Our little New Year's bottle calf has had a rough time getting a foothold in this world. 

At one week of age, her umbilical stump was obviously infected.  She was exhausted and puny.  The vet gave me an arsenal of shots to give her including antibiotics, an anti-inflammatory, and Vit B. She perked right up!  Hooray!

Then about 5 days later, she tanked again.  This time with a respiratory infection.  She became fairly lifeless and I thought she might die.  Our vet (Thank God for vets!) said that she needed a different antibiotic to knock this out. 

The vet explained that cows have bacteria that live in their trachea.  The bacteria never cause a problem until the cow gets stressed and her resistance goes down.  The good news is that this too was promptly eradicated with antibiotics!  (Thank God for antibiotics!)

My sweet dairy cow, Bambi, has not officially adopted the calf, but does allow the calf to nurse just before I milk her. 

The calf doesn't seem offended that Bambi has to be restrained in a steel head gate before she will allow her to nurse!  I believe she is thinking, "Rich, creamy milk...Who cares how you get it!!"

Sunday, February 10, 2013

So any guesses as to what I've been hauling in my van?

Yes, that's Bob the calf.  Apparently some of you didn't get the memo---Last Tuesday was "Take Your Calf for a Drive" Day!  At least it was around here.  The calf needed to visit the vet and all I could think to do was stick her in the back of the Mom Mobile!  We've hauled chickens, dogs, cats, and skads of kids in there...so why not a calf?! 

We did get a lot of funny looks.  I'm glad no on ran into us while they were pointing and gawking.  She practiced her very loud moo the whole way there!

Bob was much more subdued on the trip home after having the abscess in her navel drained. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Growing big and strong. 
We are still battling the umbilical infection. 
This infection necessitated yet another van ride to the vet about 3 weeks ago to incise and drain the abscess again.  Apparently abscesses can reach quite deep and are difficult to cure....(Bob and I can testify to that!)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

I've been afraid to say this out loud, but I think it's safe to proclaim that Bob the Bottle calf's navel abscess is healed!!  ALL the Glory goes to God!  He blessed me with a great vet with lots of ideas, who also respected my thoughts and observations.  God gave me patience and endurance to doctor Bob's wound twice daily for about 3 1/2 months.  God also put my previous training as a nurse to good use. 

Annabelle and Bob
(Bob is sad with this new "milkless" arrangement!)

In the end it was most definitely God who strengthened Bob and gave me courage to let the abscess heal over and encapsulate (this flies totally in the face of all that past training!).  I still check Bob's belly periodically and have to sing a little verse of praise every time I realize that the infection has resolved!!

Shortly after the infection healed, I had to make an executive decision and wean Bob away from Bambi (my Jersey milk cow).  I really wanted to let her nurse longer, but Bob was starting to scare me.  That probably sounds strange....I'll try to explain.  Because of so much handling by me, on some level Bob thinks of me as her mother.  This leads to a myriad of problems since Bob rapidly outgrew me in size and strength.  As long as Bob nursed I needed to lead her in and out of Bambi's paddock (unless we didn't want any milk that day).  Bob grew really pushy with me....literally.  She would no longer walk at my side, instead she shadowed right behind me and tried to bump me along with her head.  She would even come running up in the pasture and start head bumping me to get my attention.  Trust me, she had it.  It gave me the creeps and I started being fearful for myself and my kids, too. 

December 2013

Bob continues to be strong and healthy.  She now weighs about 600 pounds.  She is an easy keeper and maintains her weight and condition well on pasture and hay, being fully grass fed.

Unfortunately she still thinks I'm her mama.  This sounds kind of cute, but in reality it's quite dangerous.  Cows use their heads and the strength of their necks to bump each other, push one another around, and even charge to get another cow out of their way.  Because Bob relates to me as a cow, she tries to push and bump me with her head.  She also gets excited when she sees me in the pasture and runs to "greet" me.  I'm thankful that this behavior doesn't get exhibited with any other members of our family.  I've learned to be very cautious in the pasture and work near the fence.

Top 5 Tips for Raising a Bottle Calf

1.  Choose a healthy calf. 

Colostrum at birth, especially during the first 24 hours of life, is the key to long-term health and survival.  The colostrum is filled with antibodies and nutrition that helps build a strong, healthy immune system.  During that first 24 hours, the gut is fully open and ready to absorb those antibodies.  Here is a really good article about colostrum, antibodies, and the gut.

Ideally a bottle calf will spend it's first few days (a week is even better!) with it's mother getting all the colostrum it needs.  But if the mother died or if she is being used as a milk cow, the calf may not have gotten this luxury.  Be sure and confirm that the calf was with its mother for initial colostrum OR that the calf was given colostrum by bottle right away after birth. 

This is key. 

2.  Be prepared.

This is really a tie with #1.  You need to be prepared for the arrival of your calf. 
You will need:
** a calf bottle
** colostrum if taking calf as newborn
** fresh milk or milk replacer
** shelter for inclement weather--cows typically don't require much in the way of shelter, but remember that a bottle calf is already stressed without it's mama, so you want to protect it from any harsh weather. 

3.  If you have a milk cow, use her!

If you are blessed to have a family milk cow, get her in on the action!
When your milk cow delivers her own calf, save some of her colostrum in the deep freezer.  Don't think that you are robbing her calf of these precious nutrients.  Your milk cow produces an over-abundance of colostrum those first days, so store some away.

Give your bottle calf fresh milk from your family milk cow.  This will be a huge savings and is, of course, packed with the best nutrition. 

Consider letting the calf nurse your milk cow when she is secured in the milking stanchion. 

Allow calf to pasture with your milk cow.  One of the ways that mama cow's identify their calf is by the smell of its stool....by giving the bottle calf milk from your milk cow, your bottle calf will start to smell like her calf.  This aides in the adoption process.

4.  Cows are herd animals.

Your bottle calf will do best growing up with other herd animals.  Some people raise 2 bottle calves together to accomplish this.  You can also raise your calf with horses, sheep, or goats if you don't have another cow around to befriend it. 

5.  Don't get attached.

I wish I could tell you that this is easy, but it's not.  Calves are cute!  Your bottle calf doesn't have a mother and you may feel compelled to fill this need.  Resist!

Because of Bob's poor initial health status, I handled and mothered her entirely too much.  I hope you will learn from my mistake. 

Also remember that getting attached will only complicate the situation when it comes time to haul away your grown cow--either selling to someone else or taking to the meat processor.  Most homesteaders raise a bottle calf with plans to use the meat themselves.  You will be better able to carry out this plan if you get the bottle calf out into the pasture with other animals asap and let him have a healthy "cow" life. 



So will our family raise another bottle calf?  Yes, most likely. 
Will I follow my own advice--I sure hope so! 

best wishes to you on this journey,
pam

Praising God Today!!

Organizing my Efforts

I've been sorting through my collection of projects, fabric, and assorted bits and pieces of crafty endeavors. 

I seem to spend a lot of time starting things.  I'm not quite so gifted in the finishing department.  Starting new projects and trying out new techniques and color combinations is very exciting to me.  That's good.  Since that's an exciting part of my creativity, I want to keep it.

But I also enjoy seeing projects through to completion.  This is a deeper joy.  This is an area that I need to further develop this year.

Bonnie Hunter has been talking on recent Quilt Cams about Finishing.  She is choosing Finish as her word for the year.  She suggests that people stop working on so many projects at once and devote their energy to seeing one at a time through to completion.  Bonnie recommends having one project that you are piecing, one that your are quilting / finishing, one that is being pieced as a Leaders / Enders project, and one that you are hand piecing and carrying with you for all those odd little moments that come up in the course of life.

I like this plan.  I'm trying to corral my efforts to line up with her ideas (in my own quirky way, of course!).  In addition to her project designations, I also have one quilt that I am hand quilting. 

As I sorted my projects, I figured out another way to help myself keep moving forward with my projects.  I chose a project and designated it as being "On Deck".  I put all the parts for that project together in a box along with a list of what needs to be done.  This is very helpful to me because I tend to lose steam when I do complete a quilt or project, because I can't seem to decide what to do next.  Now that decision is already made and I can look forward to the On Deck project!  Plus my mind is now thinking about the On Deck project and puzzling through the creative questions involved with putting that top together. 

The list helps me to clue in to where I was headed with this
project and what still needs to be done.

How do you keep your projects moving along?  Please share your tips with us!

Praising God today!!

many blessings,
pam

Gold Stars

Over the years, I've developed a habit that I now desperately want to change. 

Procrastination. 

Procrastination is not my friend.  It never comforts or inspires me. 

Procrastination muddles my mind and makes me think I'm doing too much and that I don't really have time to do the things I really want to do--the activities that I know, deep down in my soul, I should be doing. 

Procrastination steals our energy.  Instead of taking action, we use lots of energy just thinking of all the things we should be doing.  Having a busy, spinning brain makes you tired but doesn't really accomplish anything meaningful.

Procrastination is an enemy of all the good things that God has placed before us to do. 


One thing that seems to help in the battle against Procrastination is having a list and knowing the next thing that needs to be done. 

I scribble out my list at the top of each week's calendar.

I've gone one more than this.

I'm developing a list each week of tasks that need to be completed.  This list includes tasks related to our home, farm, family, and my creative endeavors....a list of things that really need to be done, but keep getting put off.

When I step up and complete one of these tasks, I give myself a "gold star".  (apparently my 1st grade teacher had it right all along!).  My grown up "gold stars" are shown on my calendar written in purple with a big check mark by them.  I also get to mark the task off my list, but I find that by writing it in purple and making a big deal out of it, I get an even bigger charge out of the accomplishment! 

"Gold Stars" being celebrated!

I started giving myself these "gold stars" a couple weeks ago.  I would find myself late in the day trying to do something on my list to be able to get a star.  It was such a great feeling to eek out a star for the day even if I squeaked it in just before retiring to bed!

This week I've noticed that Procrastination has even less of a hold on me.  I'm getting 2-3 gold stars per DAY!!  I'm becoming more productive!  I'm spending less energy thinking about what I should be doing, and more energy actually doing it! Hooray!!

Do you battle Procrastination??  Have you found ways to stand strong and become a Finisher of good works?  Please share!

Praising God today!!

many blessings,
pam

New Directions

I've been doing lots of thinking about the New Year.  Evaluating the activities of my life.  Figuring out what works and what doesn't.  I love January for all the hope and newness of it--January is bursting with possibilities!  I'm working on setting goals.  My husband and I have been setting goals each January for many years.  We find this habit to be very beneficial. 

While mulling around on the goal thing (goal-setting requires lots of mulling-around time for me!), I decided to reclaim a buried machine in my laundry room.  I've been doing some finishing work with bindings for the quilt ministry, so my electric machine is set up with the walking foot.  Switching feet and settings and thread when I need to piece something is certainly a do-able task, but really not necessary when I am blessed to have another machine!  Duh!

I should have taken a picture of the buried treasure when I started this little New Year's endeavor.  Here is the machine uncovered.  Hooray!

Singer 201.  Love this machine!!

Pulling back to give you a better view of the laundry / sewing / mudroom / animal supply room / milking supply room / canning closet / if you can't find a spot for it, put it in here-room....

Our laundry room gets a LOT of action!

And now to look at the adjoining dining space to see some of the offending clutter that was removed during the process:

Table full of stuff to be relocated.  More on the floor. 

I'm enjoying my 2-machine set up!  Hooray! 

Here is my other girl.  I love these old machines!  I sprung for some Aurifil quilting thread to use on this one and am in awe at the beautiful stitches.  :)

Sweet color, but don't be fooled--she's a workhorse!

So what are you doing with January and this whole new year that spreads before us? 
Are you changing directions with anything?  Or maybe just tweaking what you are already doing?
Will you learn a new skill?  Or change a habit?

Praising God each and every day!

many blessings,

pam

Another Finish!!

Sporting my new sweater vest!

Are those angels singing???  Probably just a joyful Christmas song spinning round my happy brain, but surely the celestial beings are at least a little happy about this finish!! 

I'm determined to become a Finisher like my friend Sarah.  She makes a list every week and finishes things.  It's a miracle....nothing short of a miracle, at least to a procrastinating non-finisher like me. 
But that's all changing.  I am transforming into the Joyful Finisher!

I'm still pinching myself that this vest is finished.  It has been lingering for well over a year just waiting for me to knit the button loops!  That's really embarrassing to admit, but I think that may be a piece of the mystery to my unfinished projects.  I get stuck--for a variety of reasons, but stuck none-the-less. Anyway, I didn't know how to knit the loops so instead of putting some effort into figuring that out, I put the whole thing away.  Once a project gets set aside with an issue, it's REALLY hard to pick it up and run with it again. 


This sweater vest has so much learning in it! 

**I spun the yarn from fleece that I blended.  It's bulky, but soft and a bit silky to touch.  Very warm!

**I learned to make cables!  Fun!

**First steek!  This was knit in the round and then cut down the front. 

cables run down the back

This pattern is in the book Handknitting with Meg Swanson (affiliate link to Amazon).  I bought a video by Meg that teaches the construction step-by-step.  I highly recommend the book and video for learning these techniques. 

I still need to block it and I think I'll add one more loop and button to the front (now that I know how!!).  I'm a happy camper!

I hope you are blessed with a finish this week, too!

Praising God in All Things!
pam


Linked to Kathy's Slow Stitching Sunday!

Friday Finish!

Prayer Quilt for Tommy and Tami

This quilt was finished and mailed a few weeks ago.
I've been wanting to share it here, but it was a little too painful.

This quilt was made through our church's prayer quilt ministry (which gets LOTS of support from quilters throughout the world!  God is so cool like that!) 

We received this gorgeous 25-patch quilt top by mail!!  (If you made this top, please wave your hand and take a little bow!--this is an awesome quilt top!! Thank you! Thank You! Thank You! for taking part in this ministry!)

I added borders and did the binding.  Sarah quilted it.  As a group we prayed over it.

Close-up of Prayer Quilt--has a snuggly flannel back.

The quilt was mailed to a precious friend of my husband to encourage and comfort him as he battles cancer.  My heart sings whenever I spend time helping with the Quilt Ministry, but it's still hard when the quilt is destined for someone dear to you.

I am Rejoicing in the Lord today! 
Thank You for blessing my life with the Quilt Ministry, Lord! 
Thank you for all the precious fellowship that occurs as we create these special quilts! 
Thank You for Your Love and Your Sweet Son Jesus!

I am richly blessed.

May your day be blessed as You Rejoice in the Lord!
pam



Linked to Confessions of a Fabric Addict. and
Crazy Mom Quilts

Chicken Therapy

Dorth (the chicken) is feeling a bit crummy!

Yes, this one is my kid....no doubt about it.

We traveled to see family last weekend.  The night before we returned I heard my sweet daughter say, "I miss my chickens!"

I totally understood the sentiment.  I went to bed that same night fretting over the cows even though I had stockpiled water and hay to meet their needs.  Let's just say there is peace for my soul when I get to check on them every day. 

Last night one of the chickens showed up with a respiratory infection.  She sounded raspy and one of her eyes looked kind of bubbly--like it was foaming (sorry if that was too much info!).  It was nearly dark, so I had to make a decision quickly.  (If you haven't been blessed with your own chickens, just know that they go to bed at dusk/dark regardless of what time that might occur.  So right now, they shut down at 5pm.  They climb into their coop, settle in a nest or on the roosting bar and call it a day until the sun shows up again.)

Anyway, I did some quick research to determine the best course with the sickly bird.  Some sources recommended that we do away with her to protect the rest of the flock.  I knew that wasn't the right path for us. 

We isolated her into her own little pen and secured a tarp over it since she would have to depend on her own body heat for warmth through the night.  I did a quick search to find which essential oils might help the situation.  I tapped into Jill's experience and mixed up some Melaleuca and Frankincense oil with a couple teaspoons of carrier oil.  Massaged a bit into the bottoms of the bird's feet (which she greatly appreciated, much like a human!)

This morning found the bird looking a bit better.  The raspy respirations had improved and so had the eyes!  Praise God!

And more good news, the other birds all look healthy this morning, too.  That's one of the big concerns with chickens that they will infect all their friends! (much like humans, again!)

We reapplied the Melaleuca / Frankincense oil combo to her feet in the morning and again a lunch.  Planning to keep her penned separately until all the symptoms clear.

The sun is out and we are having a gorgeous day.  While I was finishing up my chores, I found my daughter hanging out with the chickens.  She smiled and said, "Chickens are My Therapy!" 

Yes, she's definitely my kid!

may you be blessed with time for your "therapy" today, too!
pam


Praising God for All Things!!




Linked to Homestead Blog Hop!

Lots of Slow Stitching

I spent many hours traveling in the car this weekend.  Thankfully I had my favorite driver in the pilot position and I could stitch the hours away!

Made some more Garden Stars

I seem to like this squished setting better.

Somewhere along the line, I got a wild hair  to make some flower garden blocks (because, of course I NEED another project!)  I just couldn't resist playing with some of the leftover centers from the Garden Star project. 

Took a little detour with these cuties.

These flower garden blocks are quite a bit larger than this project.  I've always had a thing for Grandmother's Flower Garden quilts.  Hopefully I'll even finish one some day!

Still Praising God!
pam



Linked to Kathy's Slow Stitching.

Praise Him!

New Life

I gotta come clean.  I've had some really rough weeks recently.  I've hit some lows and I don't like being there.  I've had that lost, empty feeling.  Those that know me, know that I've been here before. 

I found myself crying a lot--actually, more like trying not to cry.  Trying to hold myself together and present a happy face for my family.  (Note to self...this approach never works....you already knew this, ya big dummy!)

I finally knew what I needed to do.  Tell some trusted friends about the struggle, the inner turmoil and sadness.  Ask them to pray.  Prayer works.  Opening up and sharing the pain helps.  I don't exactly know why it's so hard to get to this point, but I have to get to a really dark place before I can open my mouth and ask.  I just never want to burden other people with my pain, my struggle.  I don't ever want to make someone else feel this bad. 

I think this is predominately a spiritual struggle.  If the Enemy can stifle my spirit, he wins--he pulls me low and I struggle in all areas....managing my home and family, educating our children, ministering to others.  The Enemy wins when I become ineffective in all these areas.

He wins until I pull my depression out into the Light.  I share and receive healing prayers and love.  And of course my dear friends want to know why I didn't tell them sooner.  I sometimes wonder the same thing.

One dear friend reminded me that the Bible says that I am to Praise God in all things.  I am to Praise Him for Depression!  Let's just say that I had NOT been praising God for this struggle.  I had been praying fervently asking Him to take the struggle away or make me strong enough to walk through it, but I had forgotten about the praise.  My friend suggested that I Praise God for this out of my desire to obey Him.  I'm not telling Him that I love depression, just simply that I Praise Him and trust that He will see me through this to grow me and/or to bring glory to His Kingdom.  I can trust that He will use my pain.  I can trust that He will see me through this.  I can trust that He is purifying me. 

I am Praising God for my depression! 

Praising God changes everything about this struggle. 

Thank you, Patti, for reminding me to Praise Him.
Thank you, Dear Friends, for carrying me to Christ in prayer. 
Thank you, Craig, for helping me to cry.

Thank You, Lord, for not giving up on me even when I have to repeat these lessons over and over. 
Thank You for Your Patience, Love, Kindness, Peace.

I have depression. 
I am blessed.

much love,
pam


Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before Him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God
It is He who made us, and we are His;
We are His people, the sheep of His  pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving
and His courts with praise;
give thanks to Him and praise His name.

For the Lord is good and His love endures forever;
His faithfulness continues through all generations.
                               Psalm 100

Slow Stitching

I enjoyed Kathy's post this past Sunday and was inspired to get out some of my own Slow Stitching. I've been hand sewing these blocks for a while.  It's easy work, but does require that you sit down and relax and stitch.  Sometimes I forget how nice simple sewing is.  Thanks for reminding me Kathy!

playing with the setting and a white-based
background fabric

After stitching a while, I played with the setting.  My daughter got excited and thinks this should be a quilt for a baby girl.  Which led to the question--"Who is expecting a baby girl?"  She didn't know, but says there's always someone at church having a baby.  Good point.

I had kind of thought this might grow larger than a baby quilt.  Time will tell.  I'll keep stitching these as the spirit moves me.  When I grow tired, I'll likely call it big enough!  I sew a lot without a definite plan in mind.

maybe gray?

Hope you are enjoying the sweet rhythm of this day.

many blessings,
pam


Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
                 Lamentations 3:22-23

Linked to Kathy's Slow Stitching.